Finally,
I arrive at the end. After today, I do
not think I can stomach riding up Elk Mountain again for a long while. Nevertheless, I feel strong; I should after
five weeks of regular riding, culminating with an all-out race against the
clock each weekend. Today, I am fueling
my ride with the final contender in the best performance enhancing drink (PED)
competition. Red Bull, Unbeetable, and
coffee have all had their chance. Now,
it is Gatorade G-series Prime’s opportunity to take the top spot. One would think that any Gatorade product
would be easy to purchase. Gatorade has
a ubiquitous presence on television, at sporting events, and in the
supermarkets. Surprisingly, I have a
hard time finding the G-series Prime drink. I check out our local supermarket -
no drink. I run into a few convenience
stores - no drink. Finally, I am able to
track it down at a big box sporting goods store. I suppose since it is so rare,
they can charge a premium price . . . two dollars for a single four ounce
packet.
Following the recommendations on the Gatorade website, I
slurp down the whole packet twenty minutes before my planned ride. G-series Prime is composed of water,
isomaltose, sugar, dextrose, maltodextrin and B-vitamins three, five and
six. Sounds yummy. I note it does not contain caffeine. After my weak rides on Red Bull and coffee,
both with high caffeine content, I am glad. The berry flavored G-Series Prime
tastes like a syrupy version of the classic red Gatorade drink. Not bad.
Its texture is a cross between a
liquid and a gel.
Twenty minutes later, I attach my GoPro camera to my bike
helmet to chronicle this final ride on Elk Mountain and start down my
driveway. The GoPro is new to me. I hesitated using it. A GoPro video is the ultimate selfie. I let it sit in its box for the past six
months until I finally had the gumption to figure out how it works. If you check out my video post of this ride,
you will conclude I have not yet solved the GoPro riddle. A thunderstorm looms in the distance . . . perhaps
this will be my GoPro’s first and last ride:
I am not sure the waterproof casing is on just right. Hopefully, filming with the GoPro and
recording my ride on STRAVA have not exceeded my limited technological capabilities.
I turn on to Elk Mountain Scenic Highway and begin the
time trial. I cruise up the first long
incline with minimal suffering. Perhaps
today is the day. I am a diehard Florida
Gator fan, and I feel a strong allegiance to Gatorade which was concocted by a University
of Florida scientist to help the Florida Gator football team survive the heat. I will not be upset if a Gatorade product wins
my competition; so much for my lack of bias.
Ten minutes into the ride, I feel strong until another
biker blows by me as if I am going backwards.
I attempt to keep him in my sights, but in less than one minute, he is
gone. Not a good omen. I push on.
I also attempt to narrate key portions of the ride for my video, but I
fear the audio will primarily be a sound tract of my gasping for air. Always on
the lookout for nature, I again spot several wild turkeys, but they are not
providing much entertainment today. I
pass a three and half foot long black rat snake which is attempting to cross
the road. I look back to record its
image, and I nearly crash. Eyes back on
the road for the final climb.
I ride hard all the way to the bitter end. My time is thirty-three minutes and
forty-four seconds. No new records
today. This is the second fastest time I
have posted while drinking the PEDs, but it is only three seconds faster than
my non-enhanced baseline ride, and it is a good one and a half minutes slower
than my personal best. No King of the
Mountain awards for me. This is not a
knock on the G-series Prime drink. I
like the taste and the fact that the recommend serving is only four ounces, but
I can’t say it did anything for me.
Well, there you have it:
G-series Prime was the last of the PEDs to be tested. I need a break. I will be avoiding Elk Mountain for a
while. When the final results are
tallied, the clear winner is Unbeetable.
G-series Prime, no PED, and Red Bull all ended in a virtual tie for
second, and good old coffee was a distant third. Sorry, Trader Joe’s Dark. Next week, I will examine the science behind
the claims for these PEDS. We will see
if the published literature supports the findings of my one person,
non-randomized, unblinded and heavily biased trial.
