Time to Detox

             Over the past couple of years, I tried a broad swath of alternative therapies ranging from chiropractors to hypnotists.  I also experimented with barefoot running and energy drinks.  Through it all, I avoided “detoxification therapy,” otherwise known as a “cleanse.”  Due to popular demand, the time is now, and I hope some of you will join me and my wife on this new endeavor.  What are the benefits of detoxification?  Does my body need to be detoxified?  To answer these questions, I turned to my bible, Alternative Medicine, The Definitive Guide.  The authors claim that “people now carry within their bodies a modern-day chemical cocktail derived from industrial chemicals, pesticides, food additives, heavy metals (like lead), . . . the residues of pharmaceuticals,  legal drugs (alcohol, tobacco, caffeine), and illegal drugs.”  According to Dr. Haas, author of The Detox Diet, “[D]etoxification is instrumental for maintenance of the normal function and integrity of the intestinal flora and can enhance the natural ability of the body to resist infections, allergies, and skin disorders.”  Weight loss is another potential benefit of a cleanse.

            There are so many different types of cleanses, how do I choose the one that is right for me?  A quick internet search reveals a litany of options.  According to iVillage, the “9 most popular cleanses or Detox diets”  include “The Master Cleanse” which involves six to ten glasses per day of maple syrup/lemon juice, water, cayenne pepper, lemonade, and a daily laxative.  This is a favorite of both Demi Moore and Beyonce.  Other cleanses listed are the “Juju Cleanse,” the “Candida Cleanse,” the “Clean Program,” and “Dr. Oz’s 48 hour Cleanse.”  I find the majority of these cleanses to be either revolting or having the potential to starve me.  Polling of my friends adds a few other interesting options.  My favorite is one suggested by one of my close Cleveland buddies - the “Beer Diet.”  He claims it makes him “feel very slim and healthy, is a great boost to his confidence” (everything he says is funny or important), and it makes him a better dancer at parties.  Chris, in Aspen, suggests eating only whole fruits and vegetables for seven days.  He says if I keep exercising throughout the diet, I will go into ketosis.   “Supposedly, that’s good for you” . . . if you survive.  

            Alas, after much consideration I have chosen “The UltraSimple Diet” created by Dr. Mark Hyman.  According to the cover of his book, it will: “Target your Belly Fat,” “Revitalize your Health,” and “Boost your Energy.”  My step mom suggested this diet, and it does seem to meet all my criteria:  it lasts only seven days (fourteen if you include the one week lead-in), it does not require commercial products (no Dr. Hyman shakes need be purchased), it does not include starvation, and daily enemas are not mandatory.   It has just the right balance of kookiness and commonsense.  An added bonus is that we can all do it together – even you.  The entire regimen is on-line for free at: http://drhyman.com/downloads/UltraSimpleCompanion.pdf

            Don’t worry, Dr. Hyman is not a colleague of mine, and I am not getting any kickbacks for promoting his diet (at least not yet).   My plan, and hopefully also yours, is to start off by completing his “Toxicity and Inflammation Quiz” so I can determine a before and after score.  Starting this Sunday, I will begin one week of preparation which includes cutting out caffeine, processed and refined carbohydrates, high-fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fats, processed foods, and alcohol.  This sounds brutal in its own right.  I will start the “UltraSimple Diet” in earnest the following Sunday.  Please join me.  Let us suffer together.  When we come out the other end, we will be “detoxified” and much improved.  If this fails, we can always try out the Beer Diet.

Please send me your comments and feedback.  I want to know your experiences.  If you are unable to leave comments on this blog site (I have heard it is difficult) than email me at csmahan@gmail.com or leave comments on my webpage at: http://www.explorationofalternativemedicine.com/