Despite my “John
of God Crystal Bed” session last week, I have been struck down by the flu. The whole family is ill with the exception of
my thirteen year old son who wants little to do with the rest of us. For once, his isolationism paid off. We don’t deserve this. We are good people. We have been vaccinated. Apparently, the flu doesn’t care. The predominant
influenza strain circulating this year mutated just enough to make this year’s
flu vaccine less effective. Despite
diligently making sure everyone in the family was vaccinated, we have still
been stricken by a modern day plague. I
rarely miss work, but the flu has a way of changing one’s tune. For the past three days, I have suffered from
muscle aches, headaches, chills, fever, and head congestion. To make matters worse, I haven’t been able to
hole up alone in my misery. Instead, the
entire house reverberates with the sounds of coughing, sneezing and
whining. This is an ideal time to escape
to Asheville’s Salt Cave.
Perhaps you are unaware that Asheville is a salt mining
mecca . . . it is not. Always on the
leading edge of the alternative movement, Asheville has one of a handful of
artificially created salt caves that exist in North America. The owners have imported over twenty tons of
Polish salt crystals to make their own cave. Why might one go to such lengths? Apparently, they take their cue from the
Europeans who have been basking in the benefits of “salt cave therapy” for
decades. The Asheville Salt Cave claims
to be an “alternative treatment” for a litany of conditions including “acne,
arthritis, asthma, bronchitis, migraines, viral infections, and weakened immune
systems.” I suffer from more than one of
these maladies, and my immune system is certainly in a weakened state at the
moment. A little spelunking in a salt
cave is in order.
The Asheville Salt Cave is not dug into a remote
mountain, but is smack dab in the middle of Asheville’s bustling “business
district.” Rather than being overrun
with big corporations, Asheville’s downtown is an eclectic mix of restaurants,
breweries, trinket shops, art galleries, and counter-culture
establishments. The Salt Cave fits right
in. The anteroom to the Salt Cave has a
nice spa-vibe. There are Himalayan salt
crystals of all sizes for sale, ranging from a few inches in diameter to the
size of a football. After signing in, I
am led to a long bench which sits outside the closed entrance to the cave. I am encouraged to remove my shoes and to fix
myself a cup of tea while waiting for my session to begin. The establishment is nice and cozy - a sharp
contrast to the cold, drizzly weather outside.
After a pleasant fifteen minutes of sipping herbal tea, the cave door
opens and the attendant, a young woman in her twenties, invites us to come
inside. I say us because I have been
joined by a middle-aged Asheville woman of German descent.
As I enter the cave, I am struck by its appearance: it resembles the lower hold of an old two-
masted ship. The entire “cave” is about
15 feet wide and 40 feet long. The walls
are adorned with very large salt rocks which resemble stone masonry. The floor is covered with salt rock crystals of
varying sizes on top of a virtual beach of sea salt. The ceiling has large wooden cross ties
holding up netting full of golf ball size salt crystals. In each corner is a fountain which aerosolizes
the salt. Lights are set within some of
the crystals on the wall and a few of the larger crystals on the ground. There are mats with pillows and blankets for
lying on the sea salt covered floor and anti-gravity lounge chairs for
reclining. It is just like a day at the
beach except in a cave. The whole set-up
reminds me of a Star Trek episode. I am
in a cave on the planet Nubon, and the glowing salt crystals are alien eggs
about to hatch.
The young attendant captures my attention and brings an
end to my intergalactic musings. She
instructs us to find a comfortable place to relax - I choose to lie on a floor
mat. She tells us that the salt crystals,
when heated to greater than 64 degrees (the room is about 70 degrees), release
84 trace elements and minerals necessary for our bodies. Breathing in these elements helps the body
find balance and to heal itself. We are
also told the salt crystals neutralize the malicious positive ions which we are
bombarded with throughout the day. Positive
ions are emitted by the electronics which are integral to life - cell phones,
microwaves, computers, and televisions.
In contrast, the Salt Cave releases negative ions to restore our
balance. Negative ions reportedly have a
wide range of beneficial effects from improved mood to better breathing. “Forty-five minutes in the Salt Cave is equal
to four days at the beach.” As I lay
back and grab a baseball size salt crystal in my hand, I contemplate that the
healing must already have begun.
Prior to leaving us to our own devices, our host leads us
through some deep breathing and relaxation exercises. After she steps out, I begin to relax in earnest. We are in a dimly lit salt cave with gurgling
fountains and soothing background music.
This is a far cry from the hell my wife is currently experiencing at
home. (I did invite my wife, but she
claimed someone needed to watch over our feverish children - what a martyr). The next forty-five minutes pass quickly as I
fade into my surroundings. As our time
comes to an end, the lights brighten, and the cave door opens. I sip some more tea, pull on my shoes, and
pay a mere fifteen dollars - it is discount day for locals. Refreshed, I pull on my rain jacket and reenter
the real world.
I am feeling better already. I return to work the following day. My fever has abated, and my congestion is
less. Is the salt cave the reason? Perhaps . . . or it could be the Tamiflu I
started two days earlier.
Next week . . . Self
Help with Crystals.
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