Riding the Red Bull

 

                I am excited to try out the first contender for best performance enhancing drink (PED) on the market.   The drinks in contention are Red Bull Energy Drink, Unbeetable, Trader Joe’s Dark coffee, and Gatorade G-series Prime.  First up is Red Bull.

                I am up early on Saturday morning and I feel good.  I sense the conditions are ripe for me to achieve a new personal best when I race my bike to the top of Elk Mountain.  I load myself with a healthy breakfast of cereal topped with fruit and a glass of orange juice.  An hour later I am raring to go.  I pop open an 8 ounce can of Red Bull and quickly down the whole thing.  It is my first Red Bull.  I am surprised that it has the color and consistency of ginger ale. It has bit of carbonation and a slightly fruity taste.  Not bad.  I expected it to be a dark, more akin to Coke or possibly Jolt cola, which was popular when I was in college.  I remember my classmates drinking Jolt cola to fuel late night drinking binges and also to stay awake during the inevitable all night study sessions which followed.  I have always perceived Red Bull to be the Jolt cola of the 21^st century.  I suppose I have been unfair.

                Twenty minutes later I am on my bike rolling down the road toward the Elk Mountain Time Trial start.  It is an easy 2-3 miles of mostly downhill.  It is a nice cool morning with the temperature in the sixties.  Conditions are favorable.  The Red Bull should be kicking in.  Time to tame the mountain.

                I turn on to Elk Mountain road and start the long inexorable climb.  I have chosen not to wear a watch.  I plan on pushing myself as hard as I can go each time and when I get home my STRAVA app will let me know how I did.  After about five minutes I feel pretty good. I am pushing a good steady pace.  There are no turkeys or other wildlife along the road today to distract me.  The pavement churns below me.  I am a well-oiled machine.  Aside from an occasional burp, undoubtedly due to the carbonation in Red Bull, I am doing fine.  I cruise into the open glade which holds my dream house, but which also signals a short reprieve before the final steep climb.  I push through my pain on the final ascent and keep pumping until I reach the finish line.  I then leisurely complete the rest of the ride home while basking in my accomplishment.  Surely, I have crushed the time from my baseline ride, and in doing so set a new personal record.

                When I arrive home I check my time for the Elk Mountain TT segment on STRAVA.  I am flabbergasted to discover my time is 33:54.  I actually went 7 seconds slower than the week prior. It appears I was bucked off the Red Bull rather than having road it to victory.  My ride had felt so good.  It is hard to conceive that not only was my time over a 4.8 mile course within seven seconds of my prior ride, but that it was seven seconds slower.  Ouch. 

 

Next week… A repeat of the Elk Mountain Time trial, but this time juiced up on Unbeetable.

Titanium Heals All

Have you ever wondered about those necklaces worn by major league baseball players?  Have you also noticed little leaguers wearing them as well?  Am I missing out?  I have heard the necklaces are made of titanium and have special healing properties.  Just recently, one of my good friends and his family were visiting from Ohio.  His thirteen year old son, an avid baseball player, was wearing one of these necklaces.  He claimed to be free of all joint pain since he started wearing the necklace.  Strange - I don’t remember joint pain being a major issue as a child.  My interest piqued, I searched “titanium necklace” on-line.  I learned titanium necklaces “balance the bioelectric current of the body and heighten its abilities.”  “It also has a healing ability that increases the condition of the body.”  Maybe this explains the long career of New York Yankee Derek Jeter.  Despite turning forty this summer, he continues to pound out the hits.  A titanium necklace sounds perfect for me.  Since I turned forty a few years back, my Yin and my Yang feel out of whack.  Maybe a titanium necklace will bring them back into equilibrium.  I could certainly use some of those “special healing properties” for my aching knees, back and shoulders.  Perhaps if it fails to improve my pains, it will at least raise my batting average.

I decide to stop at a local sporting goods store to purchase my very own titanium necklace.   I doubt they will be hard to find.  Sure enough, I find several varieties of titanium necklaces hanging on the display near the check-out aisles.  I chose a Phiten titanium necklace, the same brand endorsed by Jeter.  I plunk down forty dollars.  Not cheap, but if it cures my aches, it will be worth every penny.

I commit to wear the necklace at all times for the next two weeks.  That Saturday afternoon, as I wear my new jewelry around the house, I can’t help but feel kind of cool.  Maybe I have reclaimed my surfer roots.  The last time I wore a necklace, I was in high school in Gainesville, Florida.  Of course, wearing a gold chain and a tank top, or “muscle-T”, in Florida is standard attire.   Although I don’t mind wearing the necklace around my family, I wonder if I will feel differently when in public.  I am a well-respected doctor of course.  I don’t want to impair my street cred.

Over the next week, I periodically assess the status of my aches and pains since I began wearing the necklace.  On the evening of the second day, both of my knees are sore as a result of some intense roller hockey with my boys.  I want to take some ibuprofen, but I decide against it.  I want to give the necklace a chance to work its magic.   By day number seven of the titanium trial, my surgically repaired left knee is aching more than ever, my back is sore, and I still can’t lie on my left side at night due to shoulder tendonitis.  I had hoped that at least my shoulder would get better since it is very close to the titanium.  I also have been very headachy this week.  Of course, lack of exercise due to daily rains and a deficit of sleep due to my children might also be to blame.  At the midpoint of the titanium experiment, I don’t appreciate any benefit.

Additionally,  I have become increasingly self-conscious about the necklace.  I normally pride myself on not being swayed by the whims of fashion or the court of public approval, but with my necklace on, I feel like Don Johnson from the 1980’s television show Miami Vice.  I even think some of my friends are embarrassed to be seen with me.  Perhaps unbuttoning my shirt down to my navel and while exposing the necklace on my hairy chest while waiting to be served at a restaurant had something to do with it.  Despite my friend’s reaction, I do think the waitress was impressed.

While at an Asheville Tourists baseball game with my father, the necklace led to a discussion regarding the benefits of titanium.  My father was heartened to learn of titanium’s healing properties.  He then reminded me he has two artificial hips made out of titanium.  He says he still suffers from many of the maladies of old age, but he could only imagine how bad things might be if it weren’t for the titanium.

As the two week experiment comes to a close, I decide I should try my hand at some batting practice.  My back still aches and I have a new pain in my calf from playing soccer, but surely my hand-eye coordination must be improved.  As I step up to the plate while wearing my titanium necklace, I channel my inner Derek Jeter.  I have laser focus, and my reflexes are heightened.  My son throws the first pitch, and I take a mighty swing…

To see what happens check out:  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpE6K1uMc8&feature=youtu.be

Next week…I return to Elk Mountain and Red Bull is put to the test.

Elk Mountain Time Trial

The moment of truth has arrived.  It is time for me to find out where I rank among the pantheon of Asheville cyclists.  Today, I will race up Elk Mountain while using the STRAVA app on my iPhone to see how I compare.  STRAVA’s motto is “Prove It.”  I fear I will only be proving how woeful of a cyclist I really am.  My experiences to date have led me to believe the local populace provides some extremely stiff competition.   I am reluctant to even go for a casual ride with my neighbors.   For example, take the family next door.  The dad works as an interventional radiologist by day, but after work, transforms into a competitive mountain biker who thinks nothing of knocking out a one hundred mile ride in the mountains on a single gear bike.   His wife, also a mountain biker and a sometimes runner, decided on a whim to take part in the Mt. Mitchell running race and finished 7^th.  This is no ordinary race:  it is basically a marathon to the peak of the highest point east of the Mississippi.  Just up the road in our neighborhood is another family where the dad is a category 2 road cyclist and his son just won a North Carolina amateur road race title.  Heck, even my son’s soccer coach is a world class ultra-marathoner who has appeared on Oprah.  While riding home from work this past week, I was quickly overtaken by a peloton of cyclists in the midst of an animated conversation.  They slowed down just enough to inquire if I was interested in buying a new bike and then they blew past.  I attempted to hang with the tail of the group, but after only a few hundred yards, I was quickly dropped.   Yes indeed, it will be interesting to see what my STRAVA ranking will be.

This is my baseline ride.  I will be riding free of the influence of any performance enhancing drink (PED).  I am a bit concerned I am not in top form, having just returned from a week abroad with my family.  Aside from this brief break, I have been biking regularly, and I feel I am in pretty good cycling shape.

The climb up Elk Mountain begins with a long, straight incline.  Three minutes into the ride, I am already sucking wind.  I then enter the real climbing.  It is one hairpin turn after another while climbing a fairly steep grade.  My pedaling falls into a metronome- like rhythm.   I come upon two wild turkeys on the berm of the road.  They are both puffed to double their normal size.  Apparently, they are involved in some sort of mating dance or display of dominance.  They fail to acknowledge my presence.   I continue on in the lowest gear, climbing, climbing, and more climbing. After about 25 minutes, I feel totally gassed, but I keep on pushing as hard as I can.  A wave of nausea comes over me.  Fortunately, I am given a brief reprieve from the climbing as I race down into an open glade where I come upon my dream property.  It is a beautiful old farmhouse with a pond, barn, and an open field perched on the edge of the mountain overlooking Asheville.  The break quickly ends, and I begin the final extended climb.  The last 200 yards is the steepest part of the course.  Painted on the road are exhortations left over from prior races to “push it” and “almost there.”  Finally, using my last burst of energy, I reach the summit.  There is even a spray painted finish line.  I am spent.  I look at my watch for my “unofficial, non-STRAVA confirmed time” of 33:47. 

After I return home, I review my STRAVA ranking for the Elk Mountain TT segment.  My time is good enough for 314^th place out of 461 participants.  Not too bad, but not good either.  I think of myself as a decent all-round athlete, but perhaps that is not the case by local standards.  The competitor in me cringes when I see that Curt Meuller finished with the same time.  What about this T.W. guy who is only one second faster?  If I had only known how many bikers would finish with similar times, I might have pushed myself just a wee bit harder.  Maybe I might have upped my ranking into the 200s.  Next, I survey who holds the fastest time.   Albert Pine completed the segment in a blistering time of 18:48, almost twice as fast as me.  How is that even possible?  Perhaps Albert Pine is really just the alias of Lance Armstrong who is secretly biking the mountains around Asheville.  When I check out the rankings on a few other STRAVA segments, I find Albert Pine is the ubiquitous “King of the Mountain” (KOM is the STRAVA title for the top dog).  He better be a professional.  Well, now I know where I stack up while riding “clean.”  Things are sure to change in the coming weeks as I repeat this climb, but under the influence of my chosen PEDs.

 

Next week . . . a brief interlude while I investigate the mystery of the titanium necklace.

The PEDs to be Scrutinized

            So, who are the contenders for best PED (performance enhancing drink)?  Do any of them work?  After exhaustive research (a fifteen minute internet search), I narrowed the field to four drinks.  Each claims to improve performance.   I am referring to athletic performance, although a close source tells me at least one of these drinks may improve another type of “performance” as well.  The chosen drinks are Red Bull Energy, Gatorade G-series 01 Prime, Unbeetable, and coffee.  Why these drinks?  These are the only ones I could find which claim to enhance athletic performance.  Coffee, of course, is not marketed with this claim, but there has been more research regarding coffee’s impact on athletic performance than the rest of the contenders combined.

First up is the ubiquitous Red Bull Energy Drink.  According to the company’s web site, it will “give me wings.”   It is “fueled by a combination of caffeine, taurine, b-vitamins, sucrose, glucose, and alpine spring water. “  The web site is a virtual who’s who of professional athletes and daredevils who endorse Red Bull.  I am not planning on jumping out of a space craft, but I am looking forward to seeing what the Bull can do for me.  Or, maybe it is all just a bunch of bull . . . we will see.

Contender number two for best PED is a relative new kid on the block, Unbeetable.  Let me come clean right off the bat . . . I have a huge conflict of interest.  One of my closest friends recently brought Unbeetable to market.  Can I be more conflicted?   Yes:  I also hold 1% stake in the company, and my wife is a salesperson.  Will this bias me when I come to my analysis?  Probably.  Despite this conflict, I promise not to fudge any of my biking time trials, and I will attempt to remain truthful.  The scientist in me knows Unbeetable should not be included on this list, but the athlete in me cannot help but to give it a try.  Beetroot juice, the core ingredient of Unbeetable, is the rage in endurance sports. Any accomplished cyclist or runner is familiar with juicing beets.  During the 2012 Summer Olympics, athletes heavily used beetroot.  Why am I choosing Unbeetable and not a competitor beetroot drink?  First, I have 6,000 cans of Unbeetable in my garage, and second, I hate the taste of beets, but I am able to tolerate Unbeetable.  There you have it, my full, heavily biased disclosure.

The third contender is Gatorade G-series 01 Prime.  What ever happened to plain old Gatorade? I grew up in Gainesville, Florida, and take pride in the fact a local scientist invented Gatorade for the Florida Gators.  Now they just call it G.  What a crock.  Despite this injustice, it is hard to leave G off the list.  Of Gatorade’s many performance drinks, only G-series 01 Prime is marketed to be taken prior to exercise to enhance performance.  Go to the website and you can see the “science” behind the drink.  I will give it a try.  Go Gators!

Last, the universal pick-me up, coffee.  The only real question is whether I should drink my standard home brew, Trader Joe’s Dark, or Starbucks.  Trader Joe’s Dark it is.  I am not a Starbuck’s fan.  Coffee is chock full of anti-oxidants, it purportedly boosts athletic performance, and it tastes good. 

Let the competition begin.

Next week . . . tackling Elk Mountain.

(It is not too late to suggest additional contenders for #1 PED)

The PED experiment (Drinks…not drugs)

       If you read my last blog posting…please forget it.

       I have totally retooled my performance enhancing drink (PED) experiment.   First, I am abandoning the 4.6 mile Blue Ridge Parkway bike segment I intended use as my time trail comparison. I raced up this segment of the Parkway this past weekend and compared my performance to others using the STRAVA iPhone app.   I was satisfied with my performance.  I pushed hard and completed the segment in twenty-four minutes, a personal best.   Despite these results, I realized I cannot commit to racing up this same section of the mountain every weekend for the next 10-12 weeks.   This is the same section which I laboriously plod up on my bike after work 2-3 times a week.  Beautiful as this part of the Parkway may be, I have a hard time disassociating it from my work routine.   Weekends are weekends, and workdays are workdays.  I would like to keep each in its separate compartment if possible.  Instead, I will perform my weekly time trial on a different, even more popular STRAVA segment referred to as Elk Mountain TT.  According to STRAVA, the Elk Mountain TT is a category 2 climb (1 is hardest and 5 is easiest). It is 4.8 miles in length and has a 5.3% average grade. There is a yearly race on this mountain, which is part of the “Lung Buster Time Trial Series,” so I presume it will not be easy.

      Second, although my prior post outlined a plan to compare various PEDs in a stepwise “blinded” fashion (I planned on my wife making me a smoothie of unknown ingredients prior to my rides), I have come to the realization this is not feasible.  It is unlikely my wife can really blend such a great smoothie that I am unable to know whether she added a can of Red Bull as opposed to some vegetable juice.  Also, each PED comes with distinct instructions regarding the ideal time to drink it to maximize impact. Considering these barriers, I have decided to strip my experiment of its last semblance to true science.  Honestly, none of my other trials of alternative medicine have been blinded so why should this be any different?  Besides, who ever heard of a single person, placebo –control study? Plus, by being aware of what I am drinking, I will be fully susceptible to the advertised claims promulgated by each product.  Why should my experience differ from the Red Bull guy who parachuted from outer space? I will be able to fully describe my expectations that come with each PED, its taste, and the perceived effects it has on my performance.

Stay tuned…next week the selected PEDs will be announced.  Feel free to send me your suggestions.

check out the author's web page at www.explorationofalternativemedicine.com