The
doctor asks me to remove the large coil.
In its place, she attaches two smaller electrical coils which are held
together by a Velcro strap and placed over my left knee. She dials up the current until I again feel
the tapping sensation. She adjusts it
until I can appreciate the tapping, but not to the point that it elicits pain. She sets the timer for twenty minutes and
steps out of the room. I kick back in
the chair and read the newspaper. This
sure is a lot less hassle than physical therapy. Heck, if this does the trick, I may never
stretch again.
I
finish the newspaper and begin to feel antsy.
Normally, I would be scrolling through the email on my iPhone, but the
doctor explicitly told me to keep my credit cards and electronics at least five
feet away from the magnetic coils. My
PEMF treatment will be much more costly if it forces me to buy a new
phone. As the twenty minutes is nearing
its end, I am unable to contain myself any longer. With the coils still firmly attached to my
left leg, I hop across the room and grab my iPhone off the counter. I keep the arm holding my iPhone outstretched
while I hop back to the recliner. My
phone appears to still be working so I take a selfie and also a picture of the
coils on my leg. I hop the phone back to
the safety of the far counter. Shortly
thereafter, the MG-33 clicks off. I get
up, remove the coils, and do a few deep knee bends. Amazingly, my knee feels pretty good.
I walk
out to the waiting room where the doctor is sitting. The bill comes to a mere
twenty dollars: one dollar for each
minute of PEMF therapy on my knee. What
a bargain. This is cheaper than the titanium necklace and static magnets. I just received one hour of professional
consultation and treatment, and my bill is only twenty dollars. There must be a catch. I wait for the doctor to tell me about the need
for repeated therapies of increased duration (and cost). But no, when I ask about return visits, she
says, “Only if you feel you need it.”
This woman obviously would have failed out of business school. She says I can come back in a few weeks if my
knee starts bothering me again, but she is hopeful the one treatment will be
all I need. I walk outside into the
sunlight with a smile on my face.
My knee
feels pretty good. When I get back to
the hospital and climb four flights of stairs to my office, I notice a dull
ache along my inner knee. I assume all
the benefits of the MG-33 have vanished, but surprisingly it is not the
case. My knee actually feels much better
than normal over the ensuing two weeks despite doing the activities that
usually aggravate my knee: tennis with
my son and hiking in the mountains. I
intended to return for a second treatment to do more “research” on the process,
but my knee feels too good to justify a return.
PEMF seems to have done wonders for my knee. Now I am curious about the other treatments
offered by the doctor. Perhaps the ionic
detox footbath will help my headaches.