A Shocking Experience (Pulsed Electromagnetic Therapy)

           I have tried titanium necklaces and static magnets, to no avail.  What is left in the field of magnetism to cure my woes?   It is time to seek professional help.  No more wimpy store bought contraptions for me; it is time to try pulsed electromagnetic therapy (PEMF).  It sounds like something from Star Trek.  “Set phasers to stun, the Klingons are energizing their pulsed electromagnetics”. You get the picture. According to Alternative Medicine Guide-The Definitive Guide, researcher Albert Davis, while investigating the impact of magnets on animals, found that magnets could kill cancer cells and be used to treat arthritis, glaucoma, and infertility.  A Dr. Wolfgang Ludwig said magnetic field therapy can be used to “treat every organ without chemical side effects”.  Sign me up. 

            I Google “pulsed electromagnetic field therapy, Cleveland, OH”; the city where I started my alternative medicine journey. I find a few references to various articles, but no links to local practitioners. When I repeat the search and substitute “Asheville, NC” for “Cleveland, OH” I find several practitioners who practice PEMF.  I love this town. As I delve deeper, I locate two offices not far from my home which perform PEMF using a MG-33 device. I am not sure what this means, but I am eager to find out.  I select the office closest to home and I arrange an appointment. 
 
             A few days later, I escape from work during my lunch hour.  The term “lunch hour” is a misnomer.  Usually, I scarf down a sandwich while writing patient notes in my office. The sheer volume of crumbs lodged in my keyboard will attest to this practice. I arrive at the clinic which provides “integrated health solutions”. It is located in a renovated two story house. As I open the office door I am met by the aroma of burning incense.  Sitting at a computer near the entrance is the doctor I have come to see. She asks if I am Scott, I say, “yes”. She then leads me directly to a small room with an easy chair in the corner.  She is a very pleasant woman.  She appears gentle in nature and she has a soothing voice.  She deposits me in the easy chair and she takes a sit opposite me. “What brings you here?” she asks.  I state that my left knee bothers me despite having had arthroscopic knee surgery six months ago.  I also mention that I suffer from chronic lower back pain, but I would prefer to focus on the knee.  She agrees.  It is clear that she truly believes the PEMF therapy will cure my knee.  She herself had a “creaky” knee which improved markedly with just one treatment.  She had tried the MG-33 on her own knee while at tradeshow, and it was this positive experience that led her to invest the device.  She says perhaps her knee problem was not as bad as mine, as she had never had surgery on hers. Despite this, she thinks a single treatment, or at most a few treatments, should do the trick.

             I glance at the MG-33 device sitting next to my easy chair.  It looks like a guitar amplifier. Hanging on the wall next to me are several circular clear tubes with wires running through them. They look like devices Dr. Frankenstein might use to raise the dead.  Apparently, these are the instruments which plug into the MG-33. I become a bit nervous, but I choose to keep my doubts to myself.  It is hard not to trust this gentle woman who also practices acupuncture and naturopathy.

            The doctor hands me some forms to fill out.  These include the standard health history forms, next of kin, and the like.  Also included is a disclaimer regarding PEMF therapy, and an information sheet about the MG-33.  The disclaimer states that PEMF is “not understood by allopathic medicine.” and that the MG-33 device is not FDA approved and makes no claims of cure.  Not a ringing endorsement.  The one page informational sheet about the MG-33 explains that all persons will benefit from its use.  It then goes on to explain how the treatment is done and what to expect. Hook me up.  I am ready for my “total body energetic recharge.”

Next week…the electrocution